I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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