fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
