K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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