I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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