Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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