U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
sarcasm needs its own font
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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