Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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