It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize