The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize