Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just gift wrapped bread.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
