if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize