worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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