I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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