nutella sex= disaster
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
