Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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