If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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