butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
