epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
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