i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
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I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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