:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
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What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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