we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
