How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
this hospital has no fireball
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize