Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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