I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
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Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
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This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research