Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband

(404): View more from Georgia

did it work?

(678): View more from Georgia

nope

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(678): did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband (404): did it work? (678): nope http://tfl.nu/53k6

Replies (44) Good night (683) Bad night (2070)
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(904): View more from Florida

How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.

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(904): How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face. http://tfl.nu/e61v

Replies (17) Good night (594) Bad night (3011)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you. (1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this. http://tfl.nu/x6e9

Replies (25) Good night (11875) Bad night (966)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

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(913): I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America. http://tfl.nu/aex4

Replies (15) Good night (7527) Bad night (685)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

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(734): I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out. http://tfl.nu/oiev

Replies (5) Good night (2905) Bad night (1247)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.

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(413): He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m. http://tfl.nu/2wu4

Replies (24) Good night (1298) Bad night (4967)
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(516): View more from New York

OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

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(516): OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM http://tfl.nu/ckuz

Replies (34) Good night (7928) Bad night (1789)
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(949): View more from California

Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

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(949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b

Replies (34) Good night (14549) Bad night (1419)
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(818): View more from California

Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me

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(818): Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me http://tfl.nu/ulvi

Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (1612)
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(562): View more from California

Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

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(562): Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night http://tfl.nu/t1ll

Replies (2) Good night (1520) Bad night (808)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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(306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth" http://tfl.nu/c8fv

Replies (6) Good night (1866) Bad night (785)
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(561): View more from Florida

I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.

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(561): I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished. http://tfl.nu/wm2d

Replies (1) Good night (1075) Bad night (322)
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(818): View more from California

I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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(818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa

Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (272)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned

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(303): Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned http://tfl.nu/2xe6

Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (362)
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(562): View more from California

I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving

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(562): I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving http://tfl.nu/yknu

Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (203)

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