Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  $4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.

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  (415): $4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date. http://tfl.nu/jzc8
  Replies (9) Good night (632) Bad night (1139)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.

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  (570): We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine. http://tfl.nu/j4ko
  Replies (7) Good night (890) Bad night (1842)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

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  (970): i take joy in having bigger boobs than others http://tfl.nu/4ho3
  Replies (93) Good night (6533) Bad night (820)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  why was he too nerdy?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he was a tetris block for halloween

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  (314): why was he too nerdy? (919): he was a tetris block for halloween http://tfl.nu/svcq
  Replies (56) Good night (5643) Bad night (1268)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"

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  (905): I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me" http://tfl.nu/rxcz
  Replies (15) Good night (1025) Bad night (2464)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.

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  (709): apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos. http://tfl.nu/b1xi
  Replies (22) Good night (1292) Bad night (4275)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.

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  (604): He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route. http://tfl.nu/lmqa
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (4315)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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  (907): I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single http://tfl.nu/2snv
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (1044)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.

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  (608): My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him. http://tfl.nu/n6s2
  Replies (1) Good night (1469) Bad night (389)
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  (212): View more from New York

  That accounts for only three of the penises

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  (212): That accounts for only three of the penises http://tfl.nu/jbaz
  Replies (6) Good night (744) Bad night (495)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

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  (425): How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"? http://tfl.nu/pajq
  Replies (14) Good night (1078) Bad night (399)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

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  (585): He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to. http://tfl.nu/t8ue
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (297)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.

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  (479): Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him? (1-479): You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring. http://tfl.nu/rmw0
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (281)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again

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  (508): Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again http://tfl.nu/2hoz
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (251)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...

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  (509): I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me... http://tfl.nu/geqd
  Replies (0) Good night (82) Bad night (95)

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