i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack