turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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