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• (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (661): View more from California

  His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?

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• (818): View more from California

  The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"

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• (716): View more from New York

  My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.

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