well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
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New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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