glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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