sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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