she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
