It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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