Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
