On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
