DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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