whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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