Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
