What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
