I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
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I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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