come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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