Who did Billy Mays play for?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
