Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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