why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
