just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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