I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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