she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
