Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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