It's Friday. Sex?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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