Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
