Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You smell like stripper and shame
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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