just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
