I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
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