How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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