I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
