Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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