I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
