if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Panties = found
Randomize
