I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
