I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
