you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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